Chapter 1, Part 5

Moving From Chicago With My Guardian

Damn…I’m not recalling as much as I wanted to. You know that tired feeling you get after crying, where you feel like you could just sleep forever, because you feel so fatigued as if the tears were your life force and you just lost all of it to your pants and shirt?

Well, when I teared up hardcore about an hour and a half ago when writing about the memories of my dad, it really drained me. So…anyway, 1st Grade…I remember a very nice lady was my teacher.

2016 UPDATE SIDE NOTE: After re-reading all of this story I wrote piece-by-piece over the last 2 years, I can see I looked like a big crying vagina. But I just want to note that a lot of this story was written during a very dark depressed time in my life. The same time in my life where I literally thought I had cancer and couldn’t do anything about it.

It’s the same story I explained in my song ‘Allow Me To Explain Myself’ and it all began around the song ‘Save Me’ where I was contemplating suicide and everything was just horrible. I didn’t have any friends or anyone I trusted to help guide me through. I was just in a negative downward spiral and had to climb my way out on my own.

So after my aunt adopted me, we moved to Fort Campbell, TN. Yee haw. We lived in this little half of a bedroom, stand up shower, no bathtub, 350 sq. ft. duplex shack looking place.

The landlord lived on the other side of the duplex with her son, Charles.

I remember first grade just a tiny bit. My overweight, very nice first-grade teacher with glasses. She kinda looked like Melissa McCarthy. Most people who look like her are funny and awesome from my experience hahaha.

Anyways, I just remember my aunt always having to have meetings with her for some reason. I can only imagine what about. I only remember the meetings because I always remember standing in the hallway of the school for 5 minutes as she explained whatever I did to my aunt for that day lol.

I think I was like 7. I had a crush on a girl for the first time. She was at the bus stop every day. She always looked like she had dirt on her face- a tomboy kinda girl. Why do I remember this girl’s face always lookin’ sticky or something? Just a random add-in lol.

Some of this information seems unnecessary, but I’m explaining it anyway because it’s my story and it’s not like I’m selling this lol.

I had a dog when we lived there. I had it for like 2 weeks…I loved that dog. Then they said the dog ran away. I thought it was all my fault like the dog didn’t like me. I was sad for a long time after that.

15 years later, my aunt told me that the landlord didn’t want us having the dog, so she told her son to let it go one day when it was outside (since we had no fence).

We came home and I was crying because it wasn’t outside. Then the landlord told my aunt she got rid of it. My aunt isn’t the type of person to lie about this. But that landlord was a bitch and owes me a puppy lol.

I felt betrayed even as a grown man when I found out. I felt like a kid again and felt possibly even MORE betrayed. I felt like a kid from a movie or something. I honestly didn’t even know I cared THAT much…it was probably just that I never expected someone like my aunt to lie about the dog running away…but I guess how else were you going to tell a kid that?

Kinda weak but I don’t remember much about this time in my life. The crazy stuff starts happening next though, haha.

A Funny Side Story

There is a story from Fort Campbell that my aunt Susie loves to tell. It is the story of how I was hitting her with a broken tree branch stick really hard and then running away, and then hitting her and running away, and then she chased me and finally caught me in the middle of the street and got the tree branch from me.

I laid on the ground as she was standing over me with the tree branch and screamed pretending she was hitting me with the stick. People came outside from me screaming and called the cops on her for hitting me, but she didn’t even do anything hahahaha. Wasn’t funny at the time, but it’s sure as hell funny now.

My Father Passed Away

I don’t really recall a funeral, I don’t remember going. I’m sure I was there, but that’s just me assuming.
After asking, my aunt Susie verified I was there.

Up Next: Extra, Almost Getting Killed By My Uncle (Child Abuse)

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