Chapter 4, Extra 1

UNCLE BENNY

The thing about my uncle Benny was that he was just like me. He was always in the behavior system in schools, fighting kids, getting in trouble, and more.

He was like the badass uncle you have…if you have one. I don’t know if you have one, but I do, lol.

He wouldn’t take any kind of shit from me, and if I didn’t listen to my grandma, you can bet he’d keep me in check. He was kind of like my dad these years of being at my grandma’s house.

Everything he used to show me always seemed so cool. He used to flip everything he could get his hands on at flea markets. So he knew how to hustle and he taught me a lot.

When I was 12, we used to buy FULL BOXES Pokémon cards so we could:

01

Take out the holographic cards to sell on eBay.

02

Replace the holographic card with non-holographic star cards.

03

Reseal the booster packs with a special plastic iron so they looked new.

04

Go to Pokémon league at Toys R’ Us and Burger King and sell them back to the kids.

LOL, I dare you to even think I made this up out of thin air.

My uncle Rick lived like 20 minutes away with my aunt Susie in an apartment too small for me to stay in. Uncle Benny lived less than a mile down the street. He didn’t have his own computer, so he came over all the time to get on the computer and do stuff he had to for work or games.

The tip of his finger was ripped off by a snowblower. His finger isn’t really in his nose. That’s why this is funny to us!

I used to sit at home and play on the computer all day long because I had no friends. We were too poor, I didn’t have my own computer. I could only play on my grandma’s computer.

This is when we had dial-up internet, 28k internet connections. There was cable available but we were too poor for cable or DSL.

When you have dial-up, it requires your phone line to use, so no one could ever call the house. That included my uncle not being able to call to ask what my grandma made for dinner. So that used to piss everyone off. I used to play on it so much that eventually, they started putting parental timers on the internet so I couldn’t be on it for more than an hour a day. Imagine only being allowed online 1 hour a day!!! With 0 friends.

Anyway…

Just like my uncle Rick, I learned a lot from my uncle Benny. Uncle Benny was the closest thing I really had to a dad, and Uncle Rick would be a close second. Maybe because Uncle Benny was around more in my prime years. I was always in and out of my grandma’s house growing up, but not so much Aunt Susie’s and Uncle Rick’s house.

I’m finding it hard to even find the words to describe why I truly love my uncle Benny so damn much. He is just a good person down under his badass shell. Kinda like me.

If he looks familiar to you, it is because he is the guy who played the mortician in my ‘God Fearing’ Music Video

Up Next: Extra 2, THAT ONE TIME I PUT MY GUN ON THE COUNTER AT SUBWAY

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