Chapter 2, Part 1

Moving States Once Again

We moved to Texas because my aunt was stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. We lived in Copperas Cove about 15 minutes off base.

We lived in another duplex. It was on the corner of a street where my school was directly across from us and my daycare center was across from us as well. What a great set up for my aunt. Thinking back, smooth move aunt Susie lol.

You can literally see it by going here: Google Maps View Of The House

"2nd Grade I was kickin’ teachers/
They put me in a program where they restrain and beat ya/
I remember fights at school me vs a new kid every day/
And my teacher gave me her son's karate belt and called me brave/"

MY TATTOO ‘Adopted’ From The Beginning Of The Story

Cool fact: my gym teacher in 2nd grade carried the torch in the Olympics about 4 years after she was my gym teacher.

It’s so funny. I was so devilish. I say it like I pride myself on it…but I kinda do. It’s what made me who I am. The angry disgruntled kid that was so angry he refused to lose whenever something would shit on him in life.

Today is the day I make my entry into the book where I explain the 2nd grade. Oh, the wonderful 2nd grade. What an amazing time it was.

I’m going to start by pointing out the main things I remember from 2nd grade.


I was the fastest kid in the school…not just 2nd grade. No one could outrun me and no one could catch me no matter how hard they tried.


I fought anyone and everyone who thought they were tough at recess and I always won.


My teacher gave me her son’s white belt for that exact reason. It seems like something a teacher shouldn’t do because it may seem rewarding… it wasn’t rewarding. It was because all the kids would pick on me and I fought back and beat their asses.

You see, the reason I was the fastest kid in school is that I spent the first couple of months of 2nd grade running from these mother fuckers. I HAD to get fast, I could never let them catch me.

That was until apparently, I was so fast I could punch 2 or 3 of them and ALSO run. I received a white belt for beating up my own bullies. Great teacher, I don’t remember why I attacked her and messed up her leg later. Maybe because she subconsciously made me think I knew karate hahaha.


It was the year they finally threw me into special education for behavioral problems.

So, I remember I had a big mouth, as I always have. But it’s a great learning tool because when you have a big mouth, you have to learn how to back it up.

I’m just now realizing that is how I got this far lol.

But seriously, I would get bullied, talk shit, then get chased by 1 or 2 kids. They’d beat me up, but then the next day I was back talking MORE shit. I found it safer to just RUN and eventually found out…. I COULD JUST OUTRUN THEM!

Now here is where it gets hysterical. When I finally knew that I could outrun people. I didn’t just talk shit to the bullies, but I would talk shit to all the other males at recess HOPING they would chase me. The thrill was incredible LOL. Imagine like 40 kids chasing you and they can’t even come anywhere near you but they are filled with anger.

Eventually, this actually became a fun ritual. The kids wouldn’t even be angry, but they would chase me just to see if they could catch me. I am smiling so hard while typing this because I remember the exhilarating feeling it gave me.

I remember the ONE time everyone caught me…they just jumped on me…like 20 of them. No one threw a punch – not even a scratch or anything like that. It was like a victory for them. I remember my shirt was all stretched and torn as I tried to pull myself out of the pile of people – like a reincarnated man rising from volcano goop.

The kids went from hating me to respecting me and it being fun. As soon as we stepped outside for recess, BOOM it started.

Every time I imagine 2nd grade and this situation, that day when I was crawling out of that pile reincarnated is what I imagine. For some reason, this piece of my life sticks with me heavily and I think about it at least once a month. It was the first time I had ever felt like a champion and people respected me. Weird, I know. But…it’s so true.

Now for the bad part though. I don’t exactly remember this in full detail and honestly, I don’t even remember doing it.

But when I was around 14-15, my aunt told me I broke my 2nd-grade teacher’s leg and THAT was the final straw when I was sent to behavior education. I do remember Misses Goodyear was a really nice lady. I can remember her glasses and she was like 45-55.

Note to self: Old people’s bones ARE really brittle. This isn’t just something they complain about lol.

So in second grade, I was put into the behavior classroom trailers on the side of the school. It was unattached and we didn’t interact with the other kids in the school.

I went from normal school rooms to being in a room with a token system and having teachers that were allowed to physically restrain you if you got out of line.

A Funny Side Story

Every night going to sleep, I always had a TV on to kind of calm my ADHD down to go to sleep. I was like 7 years old and I was watching ‘In Living Color’. They always did remixes of popular songs at the time, and I used to memorize those songs. Any time I was with my aunt around her Army buddies, she would tell me to rap one of the songs.

Word for word, even the scribbles in the song, I COMPLETELY memorized ‘Baby Got Snacks’ and I performed it to her friends at least 50 times that year. I did the ENTIRE song all the way to the end where it says “Butt so big, when she backs up, it sounds like BOOP BOOP BOOP”

What’s funnier is that I performed this at the gym for my friend 2 weeks ago when he mentioned the original song. I said check it, and I started rapping this lol. It’s super funny, check it out.

Another Funny Side Story

Even after my dad had died, for some reason my aunt wanted me to keep learning more sign language.

My aunt had pretty much mastered sign language in order to be able to talk to my dad. So she was able to teach me more and more. So every time I would memorize a set of hand gestures, she would let me rent any video game I wanted. I remember trying to learn really really hard so I could rent this ninja video game. I only even mention this story because it brings some weird type of warmth to me when I think about how excited I was to get that video game as a kid.

One More Funny Side Story

These 20-year-old to 22-year-old Army guys lived down the block from us. They had paintball guns and invited me over to watch them shoot the guns at their house. My aunt said I could go over there, but I wasn’t allowed to shoot the guns.

So they let me have a paintball slingshot. We were in their back yard shooting their tall wooden fence. Their adrenaline got going and they took it from the back yard to the front yard and just started shooting random stuff. One guy shot the other guy with a paintball, and then the other guy shot back, but he missed and a couple of paint balls hit the neighbors car.

The fuckers blamed me for shooting the car, and my aunt Susie had to pay the guy’s repair bill.

To this day, my aunt still thinks I did it because they blamed me. But I really didn’t. I never even touched the paintball gun. I only had a paintball slingshot while we were in the back yard shooting at the wooden fence.

One Final Funny Story

One time, a man came to our door handing out cards that said he was deaf and he wanted to go to a school for the deaf to learn, or something along those lines. He was like 25 probably.

When he came to the door, I answered it. I don’t know how it happened, but I talked my aunt into letting me go door-to-door and help the man hand out the cards and explain what he was doing. She let me help him for the entire block.

I think he reminded me of my dad and that’s why I wanted to help so much.

Looking back at it as an adult, he might have been scamming people lol but maybe he wasn’t, ya know?

Up Next: Part 2, Day Care Escapes & Cracking Open A Babysitter's Skull

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