Chapter 1, Extra

Child Abuse: "I Remember There Being So Much Blood"

“I Remember There Being So Much Blood”

I must have been 4 or 5 years old because this was before I was given up for adoption. I went over to my aunt’s house (Note: not Aunt Susie) to be babysat or hang out with my cousin who was only 2 or 3 at the time. Playdate!

We were playing with toys, but I had crappy toys, so I kept trying to play with my little cousins toys. I kept taking them from him, he would get upset and cry or scream. His dad was watching TV, and after the 2nd time my cousin screamed, he told me something along the lines of, “Don’t touch his fucking toy again!” in a loud angry voice.

Well, being the little rebel I was, I touched the toy to be a smart ass.

He got up, all 6′ 6″ of his truck driver, biker riding self. And he threw my 40 lb child body head-first into wall so hard, when I opened my eyes, I was stuck in the wall and could see into the neighbors apartment.

I wasn’t even crying because I was so completely dazed. I am almost pretty sure I was smiling like a doofus.

My aunt was screaming and crying and I had no idea why. She lifted me up and sat me up on the kitchen counter and was turning back screaming at him as she put a big white towel on my head.

Side note: Why couldn’t she use any color but white for this?

I remember there being so much blood! When she pulled it off my head I could see my skull was bleeding profusely. I instantly started balling. (Swish!)

The last thing I remember from this was being passed through 2 moving vehicles on Chicago Rd. and Rt. 30 through the passenger side window of my aunt’s car into the window of the driver side of my stepdad’s car where my mother also was. This was the intersection right in front of the hospital.

“Honestly, I think I blacked out from blood loss.”

My brain completely blocked this memory from me until about a year ago when I was writing this book. I mean…I had completely forgotten any of this happened my ENTIRE LIFE. I instantly called family members who might have information and started asking questions about it.

As a grown-ass man looking back on a guy who is the biggest human I have ever met in my life (my uncle Larry) throwing me through a wall at 5 years old, I am completely confused how he didn’t go to jail for this incident? What did we tell the hospital? I was bleeding everywhere!

I was told that incident actually ruined my mom and her sister’s relationship. My aunt defended my uncle or something. I don’t know how you defend that stuff, but whatever.

Later in life, I moved to my aunt’s house for 2 months when I had nowhere else to live. I watched my younger cousin (whose toy I took) get abused by his dad heavily. I’m thankful I didn’t have to endure something like that my entire life. Watching it happen 4 feet in front of me to an 18-year-old when I was 19 was a moment that shocked me. I can remember it vividly.

Up Next: Chapter 2, Ages 7-10

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